Beneath your Wings

August 8, 2018

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Started by Icarus Essair, Jun 18, 2018, 12:41 AM



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Icarus Essair

Age
2,109
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Male
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Vampire
Ethnicity
Roman
Play By
Lucky Blue Smith
Jun 18, 2018, 12:41 AM Last Edit: Sep 09, 2018, 06:39 PM by Esmera
Icarus felt like he'd been running since he hit the ground that morning. Okay, to be honest, he probably had been. That happened sometimes, where one thing happened after another until he looked up and the entire day had disappeared around him. It was a little rarer these days, mostly by virtue of Icarus generally making a point to take a pause there and there and spend time with Thana. Oops.

Well, things weren't perfect all the time. And here was a good reminder of that, probably. But some of the sort of the things to do pile had been brought down to a manageable level, and honestly he wanted his Thana. And it was possible that the other had been just as busy, or even still was, but there it was, the fact that he missed him, if nothing else. Life was okay, here in the US. It was strange and different in some ways, but mostly things were the same. The Drago still continued forward as it always did, the background it rose against was just a little different, these days.

Ah, it was nice to be back in the apartment. There was a different feel to it, even though it was still within the Drago complex - it was their space. It was the one place that unless it was really important he could signal that he just needed a little bit of down time, and that was what it was respected as. Their home / apartment within the complex had become the haven his room had been all those centuries ago - but for slightly different reasons. ... On the other hand, not so different. He could still only stand socializing with most people for so long before he needed quiet.

"Thana?" Icarus wasn't immediately sure if the other was even in the apartment yet. If he wasn't, that was okay because he could wait but it was worth finding out.

If he was, Icarus wanted cuddles, actually. But it could wait if Thana was busy, and if he reached out for him mentally, well that was more like signalling 'now'. Icarus didn't like to do that, it felt demanding.

Thana Essair

Age
2,112
Gender
Male
Race
Vampire
Ethnicity
Macedonian
Play By
Nyx Ulric
It is better to die with a purpose, than live without one.
"Yes, well, no one said that was the right idea," Thana answered the one on the other end of this call. He, of course, was trying to help the Drago's transport line guys figure out how to handle one of the stupid street gangs. Frankly, said stupid street gangs were lucky Kassander was a nice guy, or they'd have been imploded in searing light a long time ago. Certainly, that was kinder than Thana would've been with them. Hey, Kassander was the leader for a reason. Everyone else being jumpy mother fuckers was maybe somewhere on the list. "... that'd just get Kass mad at you. ... no, I'm serious, don't do that, he'll hurt you. ... ... I've known the guy most of his life, I promise you I'm right."

Did they miss the whole, being his brother-in-law thing, because... being fair about it, Thana had half-adopted their mother first (or had Ksenia adopted him?), but that was really beside the point. The point was, ripping their throats out was probably going to get Kassander ticked off at them. ... that was if they were lucky, being realistic-the alternative, they'd get Sati's attention, and Sati wasn't someone anybody wanted to make mad nowadays, because his fuse was immensely short.

Oh, Icarus was home-"Ho, kay, I gotta go, just work around it without murder, yeah I know murder's tempting, that doesn't make it a good idea, kay, bye," okay, hanging up-he cut the other off mid-sentence, but quite frankly, Thana's fucks had run out about ten minutes ago. Was it ten? Maybe it was only five. Whatever, the point remained, his fucks were gone. Sheoo, there they go. Besides, Icarus was home. That was always cause for hanging up on a whiny bitch going in circles, anyway. Finally, he got his blazer off, shuffling about and hanging it up in the closet, and then made his way toward where he'd heard Icarus' voice.

Naturally, once he found him, a smile crossed his face. Thana only ever smiled for Icarus and Ksenia, these days. He had little other reasons to. "Long day?" he asked. It seemed that way, given he'd forgotten to pop by. Thana wasn't upset, though. Sometimes, that happened.

Icarus Essair

Age
2,109
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Male
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Vampire
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Roman
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Icarus turned towards the sound of movement and was rewarded by Thana and his smile. In spite of himself, he smiled back immediately. Yes now he was home. Home, he'd learned a long time ago, was a person more than a place. Which, to be fair, was probably a good thing because as the world changed and nowhere was like it once had been 'home' being a place could have been difficult to manage. As technology changed around them, the world became all but unrecognizable.  But Thana? Thana was always there.

It was dangerous, relying so much on one person. It was dangerous anchoring practically his entire existence to his brothers and to Thana. Cygnus dying had been a stern reminder of that fact and yet... and yet. Icarus couldn't really avoid doing that. It was the only way he'd learned how to survive - how to at least try to live.

"Yeah, kind of." He wrinkled his nose slightly. "Looked up about ten minutes ago, and realized that somehow the entire day had run away from me." That happened when he ended up elbows deep in making sure the next set of transports would be able to leave in time. And somehow he'd gone from that to going over some of the finance numbers with Sepheres - who still occasionally really wanted someone else to go over those with him because even though he'd been doing the numbers for ages, literally, he was still worried about getting something wrong in the calculations. ... Sepheres was also lonely, Icarus recognized that and tended to just go with it. And from there one of the younger vampires had had a minor incident with sunlight - how did you forget that anyway? Never mind.

"Sorry, I know I didn't come by." Apologetic sounding. "How was your day?"

Given the stupid street gangs were still stupid, Icarus suspected it wasn't fantastic. But hey, he liked to ask, and they could talk about it maybe if they needed to. ... And hugs, eventually he wanted hugs. But he should probably at least take the jacket off before he fell onto the bed.

Thana Essair

Age
2,112
Gender
Male
Race
Vampire
Ethnicity
Macedonian
Play By
Nyx Ulric
It is better to die with a purpose, than live without one.
You know, he'd thought he'd be beyond this getting struck stupid for a few seconds when Icarus smiled at him thing. It'd seem, though, he really wasn't. His own smile somewhat faded out, less bright and more of a lingering wistfulness, listening to Icarus talk. Thana liked Icarus talking, being honest. It was probably kind of strange, but, there it was, all the same.

It happened, sometimes, where Icarus got busy and lost track of time. It wasn't as if Thana never did it, being fair. He was never terribly upset about it. It was how their lives had turned out, had become the lives they led, and some days, Thana somewhat regretted that. Other days, well, he was still a vicious Macedonian gladiator somewhere in him. He didn't know what, or who, else he was supposed to be, if he wasn't that. If he wasn't Thanatus, the silly gladiator that'd fallen in love with his master's brother. Because that was the best thing to do.

Things had, eventually, turned out okay, for the most part. Thana just... regretted that it had to be so messy and bloody to get here. It wasn't the life he would've chosen, for any of the Julia Caesara. But they did what they had to, to survive, and they'd come so far, and yet not far enough.

Thana smiled a bit brighter again, shuffling across the space between them and kissing Icarus' forehead. "I don't mind, you know," he answered. "Sometimes you get busy, that's normal." He was an alpha, and all. "Mine was fine. A thousand times better, now. I've spent most of it trying to get the transport guys around the Tigers. It's uh. It's been a day. We ended debating murder." Well, not that this was strange for the Drago.

Icarus Essair

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2,109
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Male
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Lucky Blue Smith
It was always kind of sweet, being reminded of just how devoted to him Thana could be. If the silence was something he noticed, he didn't really comment on it, instead keeping a serene smile because Thana was home and it was so nice to be there finally. They'd come a long, long way over the years. And seeing Thana still brought about the same peace that being around his family always had. Or, specifically around his brothers and later his mom.

Anyway.

Icarus leaned against Thana slightly after he kissed his forehead. It was only a moment before he slid his arms around the other's body and relaxed there, just comfortably leaning against him. What? It was almost reflexive honestly, the hugging him and wanting to be close to him. The good news was Thana didn't generally mind, and he wasn't interrupting anything important because Thana had come immediately rather than still being wrapped up with work or something like that.

"I know." It was normal, to be fair. Things just happened and sometimes time ran away while things were happening. There wasn't much for that, he supposed. Still, he minded, sometimes. Ah, but it was a silly thing to worry about, and he knew it. "I'm glad you're day went alright." He was, yes.

"I am sorry to hear the Tigers are still a problem." Eventually they were going to regret continuing to stand in the Drago's way though, honestly. "I'm sure murder will be on the table eventually, at least if they didn't get themselves together."

Thana Essair

Age
2,112
Gender
Male
Race
Vampire
Ethnicity
Macedonian
Play By
Nyx Ulric
It is better to die with a purpose, than live without one.
Ooh, he got hugs. Once, Thana had had something of a love-hate relationship with those. The touching thing, once upon a long time ago, had bothered him. People didn't tend to touch slaves, back at Rome, unless they were either going to hurt them, or fuck them. Honestly, by the end of it, he was just glad he didn't have a collar, anymore-those were often hindrances. Nowadays, of course, he'd decided he liked a small, short list of people touching him. Icarus was at the top, naturally.

Easily, his arms wrapped around Icarus almost instinctively, before he even really noticed he was doing it, content to hold him, for right now. "I'm sure it will," Thana answered. Kassander may be more patient than Thana, but that only lasted so long before it ran out. "I was going to muse on why exactly we're not killing them, yet, but I suppose Kass probably wanted to give them the opportunity to shut up and slink out." They'd had that opportunity, now. That opportunity had flown. Tweet tweet, right out the window.

"I find it hard to care, now. It's like, I'm irritated, and then you walk in, and I'm not anymore." That wasn't surprising. It was kind of curious, how that worked. Thana had a pretty short fuse, everyone knew that. Sometimes, he had such a short fuse, he wondered how he and Icarus had ever even fallen in love with each other at all. Because, by most unspoken rules, that Thana knew of, he should've grated Icarus' every nerve. "How'd I get so lucky, anyway?" He often wondered this.

... he hadn't wondered that aloud, until right then.

Icarus Essair

Age
2,109
Gender
Male
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Vampire
Ethnicity
Roman
Play By
Lucky Blue Smith
Mm. Yes, that was a nice feeling, being wrapped up in Thana. Icarus let his head rest against Thana, and just let himself be held. Yes, he was home now, and he could relax because the reality was, he was safe. It might only be temporary, but for now, there it was. It had taken a long time to get here, between the two of them. But here they were.

"Mm. More or less." Yeah, giving them a chance to back off without dying was a good thing. "I'm pretty sure something else is on his mind too." To be fair, he did have that impression. And there were certainly things that were more dangerous than a few human street gangs. Still, eventually they'd have to be dealt with, whether there was other stuff going on or not. "Ah, but I keep hoping he'll lose his patience with them before whatever the more important thing is blows up." Mostly because eventually the little shits picking at their edges could be problematic if there was a larger fight happening somewhere.

They'd see, he supposed.

"Well I'm glad to assist in the momentary letting go of it at least." Something like that. Not being annoyed about it constantly was probably a good thing and all.

A short laugh, sort of. "I wonder the same thing, sometimes." Icarus could admit that. Thana meant the world to him, and it was hard to fathom someone like Thana could put up with him and his occasional inability to open up until everything was pressing in on him and he was threatening to crack under the strain. And Thana was always right there when he was ready. ... Sometimes nudging him to open up but that was... you know important.

"We turned out to be exactly what the other needed. I won't... pretend to understand how that happened." No, because by all rights they probably shouldn't have worked as well as they did. But... they did, somehow. And Icarus found it hard to question it too much.

Thana Essair

Age
2,112
Gender
Male
Race
Vampire
Ethnicity
Macedonian
Play By
Nyx Ulric
It is better to die with a purpose, than live without one.
Thana frowned, slightly, resting his cheek against Icarus' hair. He'd thought Kassander was a little more distracted than usual, a bit off. It wasn't really his place, of course. Knowing what he knew of Kassandros, though, he'd probably have argued otherwise. Even long after Cygnus was gone, he still treated Sepheres the same; like a brother that he didn't actually have. One couldn't even say it was merely their attachment to one of his actual brothers that made him treat Sepheres and Thana that way, because if that was so, Sepheres should've been sent back to the Storm. Still, he didn't-maybe he was being paranoid.

"It seems more important than usual," Thana said, quiet. "Kind of worries me a bit." He wouldn't lie about it, of course. Thana never did lie, especially not to Icarus. "Been like that since we got here, just, steadily getting worse." If he was going to freak out internally, after coming to the United States, Thana did have to wonder why they'd come. He'd been wondering that ever since he'd announced they were coming here in the first place, that why they were here, and Icarus didn't seem to know, either. Actually, neither Sandalio or Haku seemed to, Leon and Ksenia had no idea. It wasn't like Thana didn't trust Kass. He did. He just also knew pretty well, by now, Kass tended to take on too much, and rarely admitted it, often even when he started bowing under the weight.

"Yeah, I'm not terribly thrilled about thinking about it all the time," he said, snorting. He went quiet, for a moment, just listening to Icarus talk and breathe. Vampires didn't technically need to breathe, it was just instinct, and they all did, even now. "I don't know, either," he said. "But I'm glad it did. I can't really imagine life without you." Er, no. "Well, no, I can," he corrected. "I just don't like what I imagine."

Maybe it was dumb. Maybe he shouldn't have hinged so much of his very existence on someone else, but it was too late for maybe and shouldn't have. If Icarus died before him, though, Thana would probably keep going, if only to watch over his mother and his brother. Thana wasn't made for much but fighting and defending. He thought, Icarus would probably want him to live, anyway, but he didn't have much besides him. It was what it was.

Icarus Essair

Age
2,109
Gender
Male
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Vampire
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Roman
Play By
Lucky Blue Smith
"It does seem that way." Icarus admitted, thoughtfully. More important than usual. But Kassi was keeping it to himself, Icarus might ask soon, just to see if Kass would tell him anything but he wasn't holding his breath exactly. "I do have to wonder if it has something to do with why we came here in the first place. Not that he ever shared that." But given it'd been getting worse since they got here, it would kind of made sense if that were it.

Icarus did wish they knew though. Not so much because he felt it was necessary, but because Kass kept all these things to himself and seemed to slowly drive himself crazy with them. Whereas if he would just share they could maybe find a better path, if they tried. But Kass would be Kass, and this waiting game was all they could do, sometimes. There was a moment in here in which he sort of gently nudged towards the couch they had in this room. ... They didn't really fatigue as easily standing like humans did, but it was nice to sit and relax, too. He'd see if Thana was interested though, because Icarus didn't want to let go a lot more than he wanted to sit.

"Well no one is, I imagine." No, it was kind of a crappy thing to be stuck thinking about, how irritating the street gangs were, or whatever.

Icarus made a slight noise. "To be fair, I don't like what I imagine without you, either." No, he didn't. Especially not after all this time. They'd been together for so long that the idea was, frankly, unthinkable. "I'm glad it worked out too, honestly." Yes, he was. Thana had been by his side through some of the roughest times of his life, and they were still here, together. It said a lot about how they worked together despite what logic might have said.

Sometimes he worried though, he worried that Thana didn't have enough other stuff anchoring him to life. Maybe not enough friends, things like that. He might be worrying too much. Icarus wouldn't pretend that wasn't possible. "I love you." Quietly.

Thana Essair

Age
2,112
Gender
Male
Race
Vampire
Ethnicity
Macedonian
Play By
Nyx Ulric
It is better to die with a purpose, than live without one.
Well, given its trend for getting worse and more obvious as time went on, it was either related to why they were here, or something had changed. It wasn't like either he, or Icarus, would really know which it was, off-hand, primarily because Kassander still wasn't terribly good at sharing things. He did it, sure, far more often than he had many, many years ago, but there was, as it happened, still room for improvement on that front. Thana was just going to be glad he sucked at lying, and Icarus sucked at lying to him. Only had to deal with this from one front. Thana wouldn't admit it, but he missed Cygnus. Merely because the very honest triplet had a lot of luck in getting his brothers not to shut down all the time.

Oh, right. Thana made a face, smirked slightly, and then just picked Icarus up and settled down with him on the couch. Yeah, he didn't have to, Icarus could've managed that one himself, but, Thana barely fit on couches, anyway. He'd have to end up laying on him either way.

"I love you, too," even if he didn't really understand how they'd ended up falling for each other. The how and why didn't really matter, he guessed. "And, maybe you should ask Kass what's up. ... if nothing else, sometimes talking about it helps him figure something better out." Sure, it wasn't perfect, but nothing in life really was. ... nah, this pretty much was. "Isn't the skating season right around the corner? ... maybe someone should pester him into taking a vacation, too." Sure, he didn't compete anymore, but, he coached now. In some ways, that was worse. Kassander didn't have much patience for impetuous children.

Icarus Essair

Age
2,109
Gender
Male
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Vampire
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Roman
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Lucky Blue Smith
"... That works." Quietly as they settled onto the couch. Or more accurately, as Thana settled them onto it. He certainly hadn't had to carry Icarus, but there was no protest, either. He trusted Thana, after all. And if they were going to lay, instead of sit, it was probably easier in some ways. Furniture these days wasn't really made for people as tall as Thana, which was kind of sad in a way because it wasn't as if his height was that unusual.

It didn't take him long to relax there, half laying on Thana though. It did take a tiny bit of positioning to make sure he was going to minimize the chances of making parts of Thana go numb. That wasn't very nice.

"Mm. Maybe." Icarus allowed mildly. "I suppose the worst that happens is he refuses to tell me much of anything." Which wasn't, you know, all that terrible in the longer run. "I'll ask next time I see him." Presuming it wasn't an extremely public thing, but it wasn't usual yeah. Next time. If only because if he put it off he'd come up with reasons not to ask and maybe it was important since it was getting worse. He trusted Kassandros, he did, but he worried about his brother, too.

"I think it is, yeah." After a moment or so of thought. "... Maybe." Yeah, maybe. "He's always so resistant to those, but it's good for him." Breaks usually were, after all. Just, getting Kass to go with it was occasionally quite difficult.

Thana Essair

Age
2,112
Gender
Male
Race
Vampire
Ethnicity
Macedonian
Play By
Nyx Ulric
It is better to die with a purpose, than live without one.
Something like that. It was, at least, fairly rare that Kassander didn't share anything when directly asked. If nothing else, it might lead to something of a hint as to what was going on, enough Icarus could maybe poke a few holes in Kassander's typical walls. Icarus usually had decent luck getting Kassander to say something, even if only because the latter had started figuring out talking to someone was a good idea. At least that had, at some point between here and Rome, sunk in.

"Good luck with him," Thana half mumbled. Sometimes, the wishing him luck thing was kind of warranted. Once in a while, when the stars aligned just right, it was easy to get Kass to talk. Other times, it was like murdering with a tea cup.

... well, come to think of it. "Maybe we ought to take one of those vacation things sometime," he said, toned off-hand. "Even if only just to spend some time just us. Been a while since we have." You know, they moved to the United States, and life just kind of took off in a seemingly random direction. Next thing anyone knew, it'd been rather the handful of years, and now that he thought about it, times like this were essentially all the time they really spent on themselves. Icarus wasn't the sort that'd really take to big plans and whatnot terribly easily; but it also wasn't like there was much in the world left that they hadn't seen.

Somewhere in their apartment, even, was a picture of Thana hanging off the Great Wall of China. Shh. Don't tell the Chinese he'd done that.

Icarus Essair

Age
2,109
Gender
Male
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Vampire
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Roman
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Lucky Blue Smith
"I might need it. But on the other hand, these days it isn't usually so bad." Icarus could be honest about that at least. It wasn't typically easy but Kassander tended to share things more easy these days than they had been a long time. He was pretty good at getting information from Kass, better than he had been by a combination of both of them working towards better communication. It was still hard. "I'll just be thankful that Kass is learning it's good to talk about things." Any knowing that being asked what was going on didn't mean they were questioning his choices or anything like that.

Icarus would still follow Kass no matter what the answer was, but he wanted to know what they were into at this point, that was all. Especially since it was starting to bother Kass so much, clearly.

"Hm... that might be nice." No, really. "Any idea where you'd like to go?" That was worth asking, if only because sometimes he had places he'd like to see and things like that. "Either way, it really would be nice to spend time together." Yeah, it would. Time together, alone, with no one to bug them unless absolute chaos unfolded somewhere.

Breaks were nice, and none of them were great at taking them as often as they should. The Drago just sort of took over their lives, sometimes. It wasn't surprising, the Drago was busy, but... still. Icarus should remember to step back sometimes and just enjoy what he had with Thana.

Thana Essair

Age
2,112
Gender
Male
Race
Vampire
Ethnicity
Macedonian
Play By
Nyx Ulric
It is better to die with a purpose, than live without one.
True enough. As strange as it still was to think about, Kassander was relatively easy to get talking about things, as long as they weren't necessary to keep to himself, for whatever reason. Thana never really fully figured him out, but being fair about it, he wasn't really trying too hard. People smarter than him could do that, and it seemed, at least, probably a few had. If nothing else, Thana remembered, albeit vaguely, now, how things used to be, enough to know that things were much better than they'd been. Back when Kassander never talked about anything, the stress he exuded was almost tangible. Nowadays, Thana had a hard time telling if there was anything bothering him at all, unless it was particularly big. Most likely, that was why Kass being noticeably upset these days was so concerning. It was rather the rare occurrence, now.

Was he supposed to have somewhere in mind? Being fair, that was probably normal, at least. As long as Icarus was there, he didn't really care where they went, or what they did. Even just sitting around their apartment for a week sounded fine, to him. Maybe that was weird. It wasn't like Thana really knew how these things were supposed to work. They had, at least, long established Thana was perhaps a little too attached to Icarus. It seemed like Haku, Sandalio, and Sepheres had gotten out of the slave mind-set. Maybe Thana never really did. It wasn't like he was unhappy with how things were, except maybe Icarus might've been, a bit. It wasn't really something they talked about regularly.

Anyway, he'd gotten mentally distracted. "Not really," he answered. "Just, came to mind and sounded like a good idea. Honestly though, anywhere is fine, long as you're there." By now, they'd seen a lot of what there was to see, anyway. "You know what we've never seen, though? The northern lights." Between this and that, you know, they hadn't really had the opportunity to stay in a northern country for a particularly long time. Even when they were hanging around Sweden because Kassander was competing as a skater for them, they'd stayed relatively far south, far enough the lights weren't often visible there.

It was a thought, that was all. If nothing else, Icarus seemed somewhat comfortable in colder climates. ... Thana often died internally, but, he could deal with it.

Icarus Essair

Age
2,109
Gender
Male
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It was moments like this that sometimes reminded Icarus that Thana didn't really do anything. And not really in the sense of being useless and not doing stuff around the Drago, because he did. But it was other stuff, the personal stuff that people usually did to enjoy themselves. Thana didn't really have hobbies and didn't really do much outside of work stuff and spending time with him. Icarus enjoyed spending time with him, of course, but it was just slightly worrisome when it came to mind.

It was a conversation they'd had before that he didn't necessarily ever really win. Thana would inevitably continue doing what he wanted, and all Icarus could do was occasionally ask and make sure it was still what he wanted, and not just something he was doing out of reflex.

Icarus nodded a little. "Makes sense." It did, to be fair. It had come to mind as a good idea while they were talking about how Kassi needed a break, and maybe they did too, to be fair. It wasn't like it was something they'd been planning for a while and Thana had no input on  or anything like that. It was just a spur of the moment suggestion without any prior thought and so of course it was half-formed.

"Hm. The northern lights might be nice." Maybe? The Aurora was pretty, supposedly, if nothing else. "Though I didn't think you liked the cold enough for that one." Maybe, maybe not. On the one hand, Vampires didn't suffer from cold quite the way humans did. On the other hand, that did not mean they liked it, necessarily. "Though I can't say I have a better suggestion at the moment."

He could probably think of one, if he tried hard enough. If nothing else, there were places they'd loved enough that it wouldn't be terrible to go back.

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