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Is Sorry Enough?

Aug 18, 2018
66 Views 11 Replies
Arceon @ Nov 11, 2018, 01:22 AM

Rowan McKenna
No title
Mundane
28 Posts 16 Years Female Mundane German-Irish-American Written by Arceon
If I were the rain, that binds together the earth and sky, would I be able to bind two hearts together?
Nov 11, 2018, 01:22 AM / 371 Words
Yes, she'd figured out, she was being stupid. Thinking back on it, she knew that, at the time. It was just, easier. It was easier not to think about it. There was still the chance, of course, that Skylar would be upset with her, for not answering his calls and texts and... he wasn't Brett. Rowan just had to remember that, Skylar was Skylar, not Brett. It was easy as that. And, most likely, his reactions would not be as extreme as Brett's always were. Because he wasn't Brett. He couldn't be like Brett, anyway, because Alison wouldn't have accepted him acting like Brett did.

She'd known him most of her life. Longer than she could remember, and it was silly, now, to be even remotely afraid of him. Maybe this was normal. Maybe it was a normal, reasonable thing to be afraid of, but, Arina was right. He really had just kind of lit up when he'd seen her at orientation, and her heart did that stupid cartwheel thing it did all the time around him, and there was no point in running from it, because it just hurt, and that was pretty much it. So, here she was. The announcements on the school site said soccer practice was starting today, and something about try-outs to fill the team back out in a week or two. If she knew Skylar at all, he was probably on the team.

It took a few minutes, but, standing to one side of the soccer field, she did eventually find him. Apparently she was right. Her heart did another cartwheel, and she pulled her jacket around her a bit tighter - it was still hot as hell, but Brett had left a few scars, and she didn't like talking about them - shuffling over to the stands, and finding a place to sit. Soccer practice usually ran about an hour or two, but, she'd brought her phone, with Pandora on it, and a book.

You know, if she didn't get lost in just, enjoying having an excuse to stare at him.

Skylar Sorrenson
No title
Witch
11 Posts 16 Years Male Witch Swedish Written by Lenara
Nov 11, 2018, 01:23 AM / 524 Words
Skylar tried to stay here, mentally, really. Here and now, focused on practice. It wasn't like Skylar was a star player or anything, but there was a certain standard he kept to and being distracted wouldn't help. The teen concentrated on the passing work they were doing at the moment as well as he could. It was a little mind numbing, honestly, going through basic passes and warm ups - but it was necessary. ... Still better than doing laps, which of course they'd done at the beginning.

It was amid changing tasks that Skylar looked up and happened to notice a figure in the stands who hadn't been there before. His heart skipped a beat when he realized that yes, he was looking at Rowan. It took a good deal of discipline to stay where he was and keep playing - which of course he did. There was, perhaps, a spring in his step as he moved and a razor sharp focus that he didn't normally manage during practice, only games.

Practice continued, and Skylar noticed that several team members seemed to pick up the same intensity that Skylar had - it wasn't surprising exactly. When one of them started to take things more seriously they all had to step up or look like they were lagging a bit behind. It was the first practice of the year, so it wasn't a big deal but... showing their coach they hadn't lost much conditioning was a good thing right? Yeah... Skylar couldn't kid himself, Rowan being there put him in a much better mood and it showed in the way he played.

Eventually they wrapped up for the day, and their coach praised the team as a whole for coming together well mid-practice and dismissed them to go home. Skylar, of course, bee-lined for where Rowan was sitting in the stands. He hesitated for a second before deciding to sit on the row below her and about a foot to one side - conversational distance, but not crowding her. Certainly he didn't try to touch her despite his instinct being to hug her. Their last conversation hadn't... really gone well, given she'd walked away from him. He didn't want to push. But god had he missed her.

"Rowan." His tone made it a greeting, but she knew him well enough she'd probably recognize the hesitance behind it. He was surprised to see her there but he was... also afraid of saying that. He did frown a little, realizing she was wearing a jacket in this ridiculous heat. Skylar wasn't sure... hm. He didn't call attention to that quite yet, either, though he wanted to. "It's... it's nice to see you." Tumbled out after a moment or so. "Though I didn't expect to see you in Luxerion." No he didn't, of course. It wasn't like she hadn't known where he'd gone but... mm. Billings was her home.

Rowan McKenna
No title
Mundane
28 Posts 16 Years Female Mundane German-Irish-American Written by Arceon
If I were the rain, that binds together the earth and sky, would I be able to bind two hearts together?
Nov 11, 2018, 01:23 AM / 341 Words
When she'd noticed he'd noticed her, she'd given a little wave, and then put one of her earphones into one ear, popped open her book. Mind you, she wasn't paying as much attention to it as it looked like. The bookmark didn't move, she just flipped the pages, mostly watching them practice over there. Decent team, here, she thought. Admittedly, she didn't expect them to be wildly amazing or anything, but maybe they'd do decently well.

As practice started winding down, she closed her book, pulled the earphone out and turned Pandora off. Skylar did make his way over, settling down a row lower than she was at. Rowan almost frowned, but, she supposed that made sense. Honestly, she really kind of wanted a hug and a ten minute cry. Too many things had changed all at once, and Brett was a thing she didn't seem to be able to really get away from, because she was constantly thinking about it, at least. Was there a way to just, forget? Or was that one of those things she'd have to talk about?

Nope. Guess she was never getting over it, then.

"Nice to see you, too," she answered, kind of unsure sounding. "... yeah... I didn't expect to end up here. Um. The birthing pod threw a fit, and kicked me out. Drew took me, and... moved us here, for some reason." She had theories. Well, a theory; she was fairly sure they moved because of Brett, and also fairly sure they came here because Skylar was here. Strange thing to think about, but, so things went. Why Drew would've chosen Luxerion specifically because Skylar was here, that was beyond her.

"I um. ... sorry, about... I was worried you'd be mad at me." Was? She still was. She left that part out. (What temperature was it out here, anyway, like a thousand?)

Skylar Sorrenson
No title
Witch
11 Posts 16 Years Male Witch Swedish Written by Lenara
Nov 11, 2018, 01:23 AM / 376 Words
Had thrown a fit? About what? Well to be fair, it wasn't as if he was up to date on the things that were going on in her life. It was quite possible something important had happened what explained that. Still he looked surprised, he was sure. Drew had taken her in because her mother threw a fit. Well, it wasn't a loss for her to be out of that woman's house, honestly. She'd never been very kind.

"So what'd the final straw end up being?" Skylar asked, his tone a little hesitant. He wasn't sure how Rowan would take it, but he did want to know what had happened that ended in such a drastic change in her life. Skylar still cared for her deeply, and knowing these things was important to him. If.... if she'd still let him. There was a rather large part of  him that was concerned it would be too much for him to have asked too soon, and that she was going to run away from him again. Going to lock him out again before they could begin to rebuild things.

"No, I'm not mad at you." Sometimes he needed to say things like that explicitly. "I was worried, when you stopped answering me...but... not angry." No, not angry. "Honestly I don't think I'm capable of being angry with you." Just, putting that out there. Seriously, he'd never been upset with her for more than a few moments before directly. That was probably sad in some sense, but they had known each other for a very long time and she meant too much to him to stay angry.

He wouldn't pretend he didn't understand why she might be worried about that - this was Rowan, and if she'd been thrown out of her house things had clearly been a little rough since they last spoke. But he would do what he could to convince her not to worry - because Skylar still cared for her far too much.

"How do you like it here so far?"

Rowan McKenna
No title
Mundane
28 Posts 16 Years Female Mundane German-Irish-American Written by Arceon
If I were the rain, that binds together the earth and sky, would I be able to bind two hearts together?
Nov 11, 2018, 01:23 AM / 384 Words
It sort of figured he'd ask. It wasn't like she could hide it, and besides, she really kind of sucked at hiding things, from him. He knew her too well, usually. Well, she'd been doing okay, so far, hiding the still massive crush on him. That was a good thing to be good at hiding. She didn't want to make him feel bad, or make things awkward, or whatever. Still, if Brett had taught her anything, it was, she really didn't want to be dating anyone else. Maybe someday, that'd change, Brett was kind of a unique situation, or at least she hoped that'd be unique, but right now... well, she had other problems than finding someone else.

"I ah... my phone broke," she said. "That's why I stopped answering." Okay, so Brett threw it at a brick wall, but that was beside the point. "Never had time to get online. Um. Luxerion's a lot bigger than Billings. I get the feeling I'm going to really need GPS." Or something, because - yeah. Forever lost.

Um. She fidgeted, a bit, pulling her sleeve down absently. "And um. I'm about three months pregnant. That's what the fit was about." She was going to be a terrible mom, too, because she had no idea how to be a mom. What were moms like? Maybe she should just, try and copy Alison, because she was about as close to a mom-figure as Rowan could think up. Her own mother was basically how to not act when one was a mother, at least. Between what not to do, and what to do, maybe she wouldn't be too bad at it.

"D'you remember um, Brett? Van Wyck, one of the football players? S'his." And she was still kind of upset her first venture into sex had been with him, but that was - we weren't - "We dated for a bit. And we don't now." That was pretty much all the important parts of that. They did, and now they didn't.

Skylar Sorrenson
No title
Witch
11 Posts 16 Years Male Witch Swedish Written by Lenara
Nov 11, 2018, 01:24 AM / 430 Words
Skylar didn't have a reason not to believe that, so he accepted it. Her phone broke, and of course things were tight they were always tight, so she didn't have a chance to get a new one. Things were too busy for her to get online. ... It was concerning sure, of course it was, but he didn't comment on it and he didn't think she was lying about it. Perhaps omitting a few things - it didn't matter. She was here now, and physically at least, she seemed to be okay. Time would tell, he supposed.

A bit of a laugh there. "Yeah, it is. It takes some time to get used to getting around." Skylar still found it confusing sometimes, though he had the school pretty well sorted out, at least. "GPS will probably help a lot." For sure.

Blink. Okay, that one caught him off guard, and it was probably obvious in his expression. Blue eyes held a hint of shock, and it echoed through the rest of his face before smoothing out. "Oooh." Softly, and in understanding. Who's was it? Three months... well he supposed that would make her too busy for a lot of things, once she found out about it. He didn't ask anything immediately though, because Rowan wasn't quite finished.

... That might have been a slight annoyed sound before he cut it off. "I see." He didn't like Brett, the guy was a jerk. "Yeah, I remember him." Unfortunately. Really, really unfortunately. He'd rather be able to say he didn't because at least then he wouldn't have been predisposed to dislike the father of her child.

But they weren't dating any more, which was kind of telling. He didn't say anything in particular about Brett though, because that was outright rude, and Skylar did generally try not to be that. It wasn't always easy, but he tried. "I'm kind of sorry to hear that. I know it must be scary going into this by yourself." And Skylar would try to help - if she'd let him - but it was still only so much because he wasn't the father and maybe he never could be good enough to make up for that gap.

It wasn't like he had the faintest idea what a dad was supposed to be like.

Rowan McKenna
No title
Mundane
28 Posts 16 Years Female Mundane German-Irish-American Written by Arceon
If I were the rain, that binds together the earth and sky, would I be able to bind two hearts together?
Nov 11, 2018, 01:24 AM / 564 Words
Jeez, his laugh was still infectious. A tiny little smile crossed her face, but, she managed not to snort unattractively. At least they'd moved close to the school, and Drew went to Luxerion International too, so, she wouldn't get hopelessly lost with half an hour to get to class. Of course, she'd be to and from campus often enough, it was probably fairly moot. She'd have figured it out, much faster, most likely.

Yeah, that wasn't surprising. "If it makes you feel any better, Drew doesn't like him, either. And... he stayed in Billings." She gave a small shrug. At least, she thought he'd stayed in Billings. Given he was the star football player at their school, he probably wouldn't want to leave town too long, so even if he did follow, it wouldn't be for long.

She'd worry about that later. It wasn't like Brett had seemed terribly interested in being a father. Never mind, she knew his tendencies, and would much rather he stayed away from her kid. Things she wasn't going to tell Skylar, unless of course, Brett told him, for her. And there were ways of doing that without using words. Anyway, it wasn't terribly important, right now, she had other things to deal with.

"Well, Drew's kind of helpful," she admitted. "He kind of knows what to do, at least, you know, better than I do anyway, but sometimes, I could use a girl to talk to, you know? Then of course, packed up and moved here, and I mean, I guess your mom's around, but it seems so rude, you know, hey, haven't talked in forever, let me just dump all my problems on you. That's why I didn't talk to you at first... seems kind of stupid now." Kind of? He really wasn't mad.

"Um. It's a bit too early, I'm not sure if it's a boy or a girl, yet. Drew's still got a lot of Riley's old baby stuff, so, at least I don't have to come up with a bunch of money right away. Some lady berated me at a gas station in Wyoming about getting married and having kids so early - I didn't tell her I'm not married. That was fun." Fun was not the word. "I think Drew cussed worse than a sailor that day. He didn't tell her I'm not married, either, but he did tell her where she could stuff her opinion. I think she thought he is the dad. I'm not sure if I should be offended or amused. It's just... weird, I guess, I haven't really seen Drew since I was eight or something, and now we're living together and it's so awkward. Anyway. Sorry. How's stuff with you? I read that your uncle's around." His plane had gone down somewhere over the ocean, and nobody was sure if he was even on it.

Apparently not, either that or the tabloids were getting really horrible.

Skylar Sorrenson
No title
Witch
11 Posts 16 Years Male Witch Swedish Written by Lenara
Nov 11, 2018, 01:24 AM / 425 Words
"... Marginally." But also not because now he was just worried about Rowan. Which was... you know a pretty normal state of being, to be fair, but still. He didn't say that, instead leaving it be. He'd stayed in Billings, hopefully that meant that if there was to be any trouble, it would... peter out because of the distance, if nothing else. They'd have to see, he supposed. Still, it worried him, a little. Because if Drew didn't like him, maybe there was a reason.

"I imagine so." Yeah, Drew probably would be helpful in some sense. But... not really the same. It wasn't as if Drew had been around for much of Rowan's life and sometimes that was a bond that just never formed. Maybe he was feeling a little bitter in a certain direction, but we weren't going to discuss that. Nope. This was not about him.

"I don't think she'd see it as rude though, you know. She practically sees you as the daughter she never had. She'll listen if you want to talk, I'm sure of it." Skylar was sure of that much. Even if he had been upset by her choice to come here, he couldn't pretend she didn't care and wouldn't claim she'd fail to listen. She did listen, just sometimes she overruled anyway. "It's alright. I understand why... just. You know I'd rather hear from you, even if it does mean hearing about your problems. Friendships aren't all good things." No, they weren't. And Skylar didn't mind helping her shoulder her problems.

Sometimes, everyone needed help.

"Don't be sorry." In a mild sort of tone. "I'm glad to hear about it, though I am sorry people are giving you a hard time." His tone was a little apologetic.

"... Yeah, he's around." Skylar's tone may have been just a tiny bit strained, maybe. "Not sure for how long though, something about training for the GP." She knew how that was, probably. "But things are alright. Mom's doing well at her new job." Blah... blah. Same old same old with him, right? "Nothing crazy or new at least." So at least he didn't have to contend with that, too.

Rowan McKenna
No title
Mundane
28 Posts 16 Years Female Mundane German-Irish-American Written by Arceon
If I were the rain, that binds together the earth and sky, would I be able to bind two hearts together?
Nov 11, 2018, 01:24 AM / 381 Words
Maybe. No, logically, he was right, and she knew it. Alison wasn't that kind of person, and, despite her anxiety telling her otherwise, Rowan did know that. Sometimes, it was just difficult to override the anxiety. It was stupid, the anxiety was wrong, she knew that. It was - yeah, she knew. Alison had never been like that, not to her, or anyone, as far as Rowan knew (didn't she do teen pregnancy outreaches, even?). Eh. Well, maybe she'd talk to her later. Alison had been where Rowan was, before. Skylar's grandmother Kelly had, too. Two generations of teen moms, they had to have some advice for her.

Mostly, she just... she was afraid of being a terrible mom. Yes, Rowan knew what not to do, and Alison was a good example to use (probably her only one), of what to do, and her own experiences and wishes. How she wanted her mom to be like. It just didn't feel like enough.

"Kind of comes with the territory," Rowan answered. Young, pretty, no ring... yeah. It was bound to happen sooner or later. "Just don't go decking someone because they called me a slut or some dumb thing like that, okay?" That was not a good idea. And besides, Rowan didn't want him getting in a fight or something over her, that was even worse. And Skylar seemed weirdly determined to falcon punch people over her - or try, anyway.

Wait, the GP? Like, the Grand Prix GP? He could've died and disappeared for several months, and he was right back to skating? Rowan frowned, a bit. "That's good, nothing crazy." That was nice. "... soo... you mean the Grand Prix, right? Like... why?" Maybe he didn't know any more than she did. "Wait, before you answer that, can we go in there where there's air conditioning because it's still like a thousand degrees out here, and, I'm getting dizzy." Just a bit. Not-hot sounded like a great idea.

Skylar Sorrenson
No title
Witch
11 Posts 16 Years Male Witch Swedish Written by Lenara
Nov 11, 2018, 01:24 AM / 340 Words
A wry smile. "I'll try?" Skylar said earnestly. "But I can't promise I won't glare at them." And he couldn't promise that if someone pushed too hard and couldn't take a hint he wouldn't push right back. Skylar wouldn't go looking for trouble though, the last thing he needed was to be arrested for assault and have his mother frowning at him though. She'd never let him live that down, and would probably punish him herself for it.

Frowning then, rather immediately. "Well it wouldn't be like a thousand degrees if you weren't wearing long sleeves." In a serious tone. "If you're going to watch practices any more, you've gotta dress for the weather Rowan." He sounded genuinely concerned as he stood up and gestured for her to follow him. Inside wasn't really a bad idea though, especially if she was so hot. So... they could do that, get her cooled down before something terrible happened. And... then they could talk more.

Why indeed though. Why did Kaspian decide to go back to the GP immediately? Why did Rowan think it was a good idea to wear long sleeves out here for practice?

He was actually a little upset, about Kaspian though, if he was being honest. They'd thought they'd lost him forever, and there he went leaving again. Skylar sort of understood. Skating was just what Kaspian did but... it didn't mean he missed him any less. And it didn't mean he didn't wish he'd spend just a little more time at home these days.

Skylar did keep glancing over at Rowan to make sure she was at least mostly okay while they were walking though, if only because she'd mentioned she was dizzy and if she got too off balanced he wanted to know so he could help steady her.

Rowan McKenna
No title
Mundane
28 Posts 16 Years Female Mundane German-Irish-American Written by Arceon
If I were the rain, that binds together the earth and sky, would I be able to bind two hearts together?
Nov 12, 2018, 02:24 AM / 386 Words
Rowan made a face, somewhere between sheepish and... maybe a hair exasperated. "M'not used to it being this hot." Well, that was what she said, but, Montana wasn't that much colder than Nebraska. That argument worked on everyone else, but Skylar was from Montana, too. ... maybe he wouldn't think about it. Yeah. She'd just hope he didn't.

She didn't argue much more, though, standing and following him. As it happened, though, she was a little bit dizzy, and it got worse when she stood up. Fortunately, she didn't hit her butt again, just stood for a second, wobbling a bit, as it passed, and then toddled after Skylar, perhaps not entirely in a straight line, but, close enough.

This would be easier on her, if she did dress for the weather, but people asked questions and frankly, the answers were none of their business. Rowan being Rowan, though, she just kind of meekly answered, instead of saying it wasn't their business, like she should. A few of the marks on her arm looked suspiciously like self-harm marks; hell, maybe a few of them were, she'd been drunk through some of it, so hell if she remembered. Those got surprisingly nasty comments, though.

Fortunately, she stayed upright. Did pause by the door, to lean against the wall for a second, but only for a second. "Okay, so, why is your uncle being a stupid? I mean. Are you okay?" The press was all convinced Kaspian had gone down with the plane, and died, and quite honestly, nobody survived that shit. Then it came out he'd missed the flight, and Rowan had her reservations, but that wasn't the point, the point was, that had to have been a heck of an emotional roller-coaster. And now he was skating again. Wasn't he twenty eight or something? Most skaters retired around there, he certainly wouldn't be the first, or the last, to. Never mind he'd almost died because of skating, in a roundabout way. One would think he'd never want to skate professionally again.

Skylar Sorrenson
No title
Witch
11 Posts 16 Years Male Witch Swedish Written by Lenara
Nov 14, 2018, 02:30 AM / 391 Words
Skylar arched an eyebrow slightly. "Rowan, it's really not any hotter than Montana would be this time of year." At least he didn't think so? Granted he'd been here a bit longer and maybe it was just perception but he didn't think the difference was extreme enough to explain what she was wearing. And then he sighed slightly. "I mean don't tell me if you don't want to." He didn't want to push her. "Just, try to be careful." Heat exhaustion was very real and rather terrifying.

"Come sit over here," Yes, over here she could sit and it was cool and that was... she'd be fine. "I also have an extra bottle of water if you need some." Just, offering that offhandedly before she went back to the conversation about Kaspian.

Oh man did this get really close to a huge can of worms that he didn't even know where to begin with. He didn't want to drag her into it, he didn't want to dump everything on her with clearly she had her own shit going on over there.

It was about then that Skylar realized he was fiddling with the hem of his shirt like kid again. Ahhh when was the last time he'd been nervous around Rowan? He honestly didn't remember. That was... odd actually. Hm. Anyway, Skylar forced himself to let go of the hem of his shirt and folded his hands into his lap.

"I'm fine." That was the easiest thing to answer but also the ... most blatant lie, perhaps. "I mean it was... kind of nerve wracking to not be sure if he was okay or not, and I spent some time mourning the loss. But he came home and it's okay." Yeah. It was. It was fine, he was home that was what mattered. Skylar just sort of wanted a little more time with him before he was gone again for so long.

"As for why he's going back on the competition circuit already, I'm not sure." Except that seemed to be all Kaspian did, skate.