the ghost of you

August 10, 2018

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Started by Cygnus Essair, Jun 27, 2018, 02:15 AM



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Cygnus Essair

Age
2,109
Gender
Male
Race
Vampire
Ethnicity
Roman
Play By
Lucky Blue Smith
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live.
Jun 27, 2018, 02:15 AM Last Edit: Sep 09, 2018, 06:38 PM by Esmera
That took some work.

Honestly, Cygnus wasn't entirely sure how he did it in the first place; he was, at one point, sleeping in the darkness that he thought was Kassi ( it felt like him ), watching the splashes and flickers of light across the inky blackness, and then... instinctively, he'd breathed in, somewhat slowly coming to awareness. He almost fell over, but managed not to. For several moments, his eyes adjusted to the darkness, a different kind, blinking slightly, and looking around. Where was this... something about Nebraska, that was all he'd caught, wherever he'd been. Why was he out? No, he knew why. He wanted out, but Kassandros was too bright. Strong. Weak? He didn't know which it was. Only when Kassi was asleep did he get strong enough to push himself out, and, when Kass woke back up, he may not be able to stay... he managed to find the pile of Kassandaku over there. He was wearing the same thing Kassander was. Funny. Cygnus raised a finger and tapped his lips, and then slipped out the door.

If he had a short time anyway, he knew where he wanted to go. Kassi probably had to be asleep, for him to be awake, and, maybe he'd go visit Icarus, one of these times, but his heart drew him to who he presumed was Sepheres. A breath in, and he got his answer; it smelled like Sepheres, this way. Probably, it took several minutes of wandering around the complex ( it was a different one than the one he knew, sue him ), before he found the right door. Fortunately, nobody really locked their doors in the complex. Everyone were familiar with everyone else, there was no instinct to. Quietly, he let himself right in, readjusting to the dark for a moment, and then made his way down the hall to --

Ah. You know, that was a sight for sore eyes. Yeah, he was still a sap, standing in the doorway watching him, for a few seconds. He did eventually get the door closed behind him, shuffling over and settling down next to Sepheres, trying to manage it as gently as he could. He didn't necessarily want to wake him up, he just, wanted to be near him, that was all. Kass rose with the sun, of course. He didn't have long, but, he had long enough. Despite wanting to, Cygnus didn't reach over and hug him, just, laid down next to him. Maybe he'd fall asleep, himself, but he was and wasn't tired. As it was, he'd been sleeping for a long time, anyway, and even if Sepheres never woke up, it was enough, just being so close.

Yep; he was still a sap.

Sepheres Essair

Age
2,106
Gender
Male
Race
Vampire
Ethnicity
Egyptian-Roman
Play By
Eric Saade
Jun 27, 2018, 02:43 PM #1 Last Edit: Jun 27, 2018, 02:53 PM by Sepheres Essair
At first, Sepheres just stretched a little in his sleep and curled closer to the figure in his bed, because that figure what familiar and it felt like home in a way that no one else did. That last missing piece, the part that had been gone since Cygnus died, and he'd never been able to find again. But that was okay, he'd decided it was fine not to find him again because in the end no one could really be Cygnus. But the familiarity meant at first Sepheres' subconscious wasn't bothered by the intrusion.

Still, despite it feeling so very natural, Sepheres' eyes opened in the darkness because there was someone in his bed and there shouldn't be anyone there. There hadn't been anyone welcome in his bed overnight in almost nine hundred years with very infrequent exceptions that generally involved family. His hackles raised despite the previous placid reaction, at least until he started to orient enough to actually recognize the one laying there in bed.

The scent was familiar, honestly. And the aura. But that didn't... "Cygnus?" Asked in a confused, still half-asleep tone. The initial defensive reaction did fade back out of existence, because that kind of a scent was nearly impossible to fake. "I don't..." He shook his head slightly letting that go. He was still confused, but maybe the hows and whys didn't matter, exactly.

He reached out slowly, and rested his hand on top of Cygnus', just to see if he could. Maybe he was dreaming, after all. It would be a strangely vivid dream, but it would make more sense than his dead husband laying in bed with him after nine hundred years. But for a moment or two, maybe it didn't matter exactly. He'd see how the other responded and he'd not worry too much because if things turned for the worst, Sepheres could take care of himself.

Cygnus Essair

Age
2,109
Gender
Male
Race
Vampire
Ethnicity
Roman
Play By
Lucky Blue Smith
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live.
"It's okay," he almost immediately said, reflexively. Cygnus had gotten much better at recognizing things like Sepheres almost flipping out, but, it went away, a moment later. Then, it was just ah... confusion? Yeah. "Yes," whispered. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." He had, admittedly, a vague idea of how long he'd been gone. Dead. Gone? Cygnus didn't have an exact number, but he was never terribly good with numbers, anyway. It'd been a long time, that was all he really needed to know.

He went quiet, for a moment, the hand Sepheres reached for turning around, lacing their fingers together. Not thinking about it, as always he didn't, Cygnus pulled Sepheres' hand up, kissing his knuckles, and then put their hands back where they'd been, his usual tiny smile on his face. No, he didn't have an exact number. All he knew was, it'd been a long time, and Cygnus had missed him. He had missed Icarus, and mom, and Kassi, too, but see, he and Icarus and Kassi, they were the same, but they were different, and they were never really apart. Icarus and Kassi were the pieces of him that he'd been made with, but Sepheres was the piece of him he'd chosen. Was that strange? Maybe it was. He'd ask Icarus, later, maybe.

"I probably can't stay long," he said. "M'sorry, I can't be awake, when Kassi is. M'not sure why yet. But, I made it back to you, somehow." He still didn't understand how, but, he wasn't terribly interested in questioning it, either. "You haven't been alone at least, right?" Cygnus didn't think so; Kass may not have really stood that, anyway, and maybe neither would Surya have. At least he had family. Cygnus worried, though. He usually did, with Sepheres, even knowing he didn't really have to. It was surprising, though, that he was still here, with the Drago -- Cygnus knew it was still the Drago, because it still smelled like the Drago. He'd have thought Sepheres would've gone back to the Storm. Ah, maybe not for long, though. Kassi did still need somebody to do maths for him.

Still, they were identical. Being around Icarus and Kassandros must've been hard, for a while.

Sepheres Essair

Age
2,106
Gender
Male
Race
Vampire
Ethnicity
Egyptian-Roman
Play By
Eric Saade
Actually Sepheres was pretty sure that it was not okay, but he didn't say that. But no he didn't think it was okay because suddenly there was a person in his bed who hadn't been there while he was sleeping. "Didn't mean to-" Sepheres shook his head. "Well it was bound to wake me up. I'm not used to people in my room anymore, much less in my bed." So... yes, Cygnus coming was going to wake him up. It'd been nine hundred years, he thought he was allowed to be not-used to it any more. But then Cygnus was... dead. And probably didn't really know or understand just how things had been since he went away. Maybe he didn't know how long it had been to begin with.

Sepheres was still confused, for the record.

Couldn't be awake when Kassi was. That didn't really make sense. "Cygnus you're dead." Slowly, calmly. "I mean not that I'm not glad to see you I'm just... I'm confused." His being here shouldn't have anything to do with Kassi one way or another. "I'm actually... kind of surprised you haven't been reincarnated." What in the world was his soul waiting for? Certainly it didn't mean to wait to be reborn until both of his brothers died?

But that didn't explain why he was here. Sepheres was going to keep holding his hand for the moment though. "I have been with the Drago. Hard to consider that alone." Gently. "I've been alright." He would... normally ask about here how Cygnus had been but uh. That was kind of pointless given he was pretty sure Cygnus hadn't existed.

Cygnus Essair

Age
2,109
Gender
Male
Race
Vampire
Ethnicity
Roman
Play By
Lucky Blue Smith
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live.
Oh. Right, yeah, he supposed maybe he wouldn't be used to that anymore? That was kind of sad, actually. He didn't have a number, Cygnus was still pretty bad with numbers, anyway, at least the really big ones, but he remembered someone saying it was 1998, once. When he'd still been separate from Kassi, it was 1100 something. Eight? Nine minus one was eight, so that was eight, and then the rest didn't matter so at least eight hundred? He was pretty sure that was a hundred. That was a long time. Maybe Sepheres hadn't been alone, but, Cygnus had kind of hoped he'd fall in love again, find happiness with someone else. That was a long time not to.

Cygnus just wanted him to be happy, when he was gone, that was all. Was that a strange thing to hope for? It wasn't like he knew how this was supposed to go. He did know, usually you didn't come back, after you died. He still didn't know why he hadn't reincarnated. It was, maybe, a little late to wonder about that, but, he could think easier, when he was out here. Maybe that was why he was thinking about it.

Kassi was bright. But he wasn't bright enough. Cygnus wasn't really sure what that meant. Icarus could've figured it out. Kass usually woke up when the sun came up... maybe he could tell Icarus before he went back, wherever it was he'd been, and someone could figure this out. Cygnus was fairly sure he wasn't supposed to be here, still, but Kassi hadn't let him go where he was supposed to.

"I know," he said. "At least eight hundred years now, I remember someone saying it was 1998 once. But I don't remember how long ago that was. Kassi didn't let me go where I was supposed to. I don't know why. He's not bright enough, I don't know how I know that, I just do, but he's still too bright for me to be out when he's awake. I don't know what it means." Cygnus, you know, he wasn't the one that did the thinking. It wasn't like he was bad at it, now, not anymore, he just wasn't as good at it as his brothers, and only had a rough idea of how things were supposed to be. He didn't remember things like Icarus did, didn't know how things had been before, didn't always know when things changed.

"Guess it is. ... hey, can I hug you?" Was it weird that it was still his first instinct, to ask, all this time later? Maybe it was. Cygnus wasn't going to stop asking, though. He still had his moments where he was really bad at telling when it wasn't welcome. He didn't want to hurt anyone, least of all Sepheres.

Sepheres Essair

Age
2,106
Gender
Male
Race
Vampire
Ethnicity
Egyptian-Roman
Play By
Eric Saade
"Mm. It's 2018 now." Offering that quietly. It wouldn't mean a whole lot to Cygnus, but it was a 20 year jump from the year that the other remembered. So that was... well. That was a long, long time. It was odd to him though, that Cygnus was here. And that he remembered so much, even in fragments, when he'd been dead. He remembered enough to know roughly how long it had been. That was... that was a long time.

Frowning. "Not... bright enough." And Kassi didn't let him go where he was supposed to. Sepheres filed that away in things that might be important, but he didn't yet understand. Maybe he would in time, but maybe by the time it made sense it would be too late for the information to be useful.

"It's okay not to know what it means, I don't either." Mildly. "I also don't understand why or how he'd stop you from going where you're supposed to go." there was also the fact that Kassander didn't seem to be aware that that had happened at all. So it wasn't something Kass had done on purpose, it had just... happened. But what did that mean, if something like this just happened. "Unfortunately I suspect by the time it all makes sense it'll be a bit late to explain." Probably.

But he also wasn't sure this was something he should bring up with Kass, if he didn't already know. Sometimes, that could do strange things. Kass took the strangest things unusually from time to time. And it was better, maybe, to leave that alone. On the other hand, Kass might be upset if no one told him Cygnus was roaming the halls at night from time to time. ... Maybe he'd ask Icarus what he thought about it.

"Of course you can." He murmured, and then he slid closer to the middle of the space so that they'd meet there instead of cuddling right on the edge of the bed. It was sweet, after all this time, that he still asked. Or at least, Sepheres thought it was sweet.

Cygnus Essair

Age
2,109
Gender
Male
Race
Vampire
Ethnicity
Roman
Play By
Lucky Blue Smith
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live.
Oh. That was an extra like, twenty years or something. Okay, so, make that more like nine hundred years since he'd died? That was a really long time, wow. Almost half his... not life. Cygnus, very readily recognizing his limitations, immediately let that go, in his head. It wasn't terribly important, anyway.

Cygnus just shrugged. It was hard to say how, or why, he knew that, he just did. Something was missing, he thought, but Cygnus also didn't know what that meant. "It's like there's something missing. Hard to explain." Lots of things were difficult to explain, for him, that was nothing new. They were talking about Kassi, too, he was always hard to put to words, just in general. He was a lot happier than he used to be, though. Cygnus knew that, maybe better than he should. It was nice to see. Know. They all deserved some happiness, but maybe none of them more than Kassi did, if you could justify putting a quantifier on that.

"I don't either," he answered. "Kassi wouldn't on purpose, at least." Of all of them, Kassandros had the best idea of how important being reborn and the soul moving on was. It wasn't like Cygnus couldn't. He'd stayed, for a bit, of course, but he did eventually decide to move on, because staying wasn't really going to accomplish anything. Victoria had stayed for a bit, too. They would've moved on together, really. He vaguely remembered taking her hand, and they went to go in the light together, but she went. He went somewhere else. In Kassi? Hmm. They were connected in strange ways. Maybe his soul had gone into Kassi's, but why? That, he didn't know, either.

Yay! Cygnus made a smothered happy noise, easily scooting closer and wrapping his arms around Sepheres, resting his chin against his hair. "I missed you." It probably didn't really seem like he would've, but, he had, but he was worried about something, and it never really quite registered what was so concerning. There was something wrong. It was hard to place, but somewhere in him, he knew it was wrong. "It's probably kind of weird, but, I just want you to be happy, okay? That's what I thought, back then. Your mom wanted that, too. I was gonna stay, for a bit longer, but she said you and Atenra are strong like your dad, and you'd be okay." Sometimes, he wondered how she knew that, but then, moms just did. His mom certainly just knew things, once in a while.

"You know, I kind of wanted kids," he said, kind of off-hand. "Dunno why I never said anything." Probably, because he was afraid he'd be a really cruddy dad, that was why. Kassi was a better parent. Icarus would be, too.

Sepheres Essair

Age
2,106
Gender
Male
Race
Vampire
Ethnicity
Egyptian-Roman
Play By
Eric Saade
"Something missing..." Sepheres' voice was thoughtful, but honestly he was tired and not thinking at full capacity and he had no idea what Kassandros could be 'missing' in that sense. But... hm. "I don't know that... it's necessarily you. Some things are just hard to explain, and it's late anyway." And of course, Cygnus had been dead for a long, long time and there was a good chance that there just weren't words for some of the things he wanted to say before, even if there were now.

"No, he wouldn't have." Which made it especially strange that that was exactly what had happened. He didn't... even seem to know that it had happened. It was possible that he did know, but it seemed like a strange thing for him not to have addressed in nine hundred years. A soul not moving on... yeah that could be risky, in some sense.

"I missed you too." Quietly. Heaven above knew he had, more than words could really express. Just the words seemed pale in comparison to the feeling in his chest. And he'd wake up in the morning, and this would be over. Cygnus wouldn't be here, he'd stillb e gone and this was probably some sort of masochism, because Sepheres couldn't find it in himself to care beyond the disappointment that he would have to let go of Cygnus eventually.

"I am okay. It turned out alright in the end." He wouldn't necessarily say he was happy, exactly. But he was happier than he'd been in a long, long time. And that was... that was probably the best he could expect at this point.

"Mm. I wish you had. We could have. I'm sorry you never got the chance." His tone was genuinely apologetic. But he was just going to hug

Cygnus Essair

Age
2,109
Gender
Male
Race
Vampire
Ethnicity
Roman
Play By
Lucky Blue Smith
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live.
"Maybe it's because I'm protecting something," Cygnus said, thoughtfully. "There's something that keeps trying to get the star in Kassi's soul. I don't know what it is, but, it can't have it. That's all I need to know." He knew what the star was, but, he also didn't know. It was important, and it was powerful; with it in him, somehow, he could make himself come out, corporeal enough to touch. Whatever it was, Cygnus just knew, it wasn't supposed to be anywhere but in Kassander. It was dangerous, and only Kassander knew how to use it, could bear its weight without crumbling under its power, or losing his head. It was dangerous, and important, and it needed to be protected, so, Cygnus did.

No, he never really did get better at thinking about things deeper than that. In some situations, sure, but it didn't really matter if he understood the semantics in this situation. These kinds of semantics, they were better suited to Kassi, not him. Not to say Cygnus could tell Kassi these kinds of things.

Well, it wasn't like Cygnus knew better. He'd just have to take Sepheres' word for it. He seemed okay. It was, honestly, the best Cygnus could really hope for, and maybe that wasn't all that grand in the long run, but it was what it was. "Nah," Cygnus answered. "It never seemed like a good time. And, honestly, I forgot about it a lot. My fault, really." It was too late, now. It was fairly likely that, eventually, he'd go where he was supposed to originally, and he wouldn't know Sepheres anymore.

It was kind of sad to think about, but, that was how it should've been all along. But if he hadn't stayed, who knew how things would've turned out? Maybe Kassi wouldn't have the star anymore. Nah... he had a feeling the star was protecting itself, and the only way he would have moved on, like he was meant to, was if the corruption wasn't after it. It had been, for a long time. It was hard to imagine it leaving the star alone. What was it? And where was it, because the only way of ending the threat to the star, would be destroying the corruption. Cygnus didn't know what it was, or where.

Maybe, he should find it. Maybe he was close to finding it, and that was why he could leave Kassi's soul, now. Something was always after Kassi, that was nothing new, but Cygnus couldn't defend him if he couldn't be outside of him. He should find Icarus. Icarus remembered; maybe he'd even know what the star was.

"I think I should bug Icarus before morning." Fortunately, Icarus was a morning person. Thana, not so much, but, it was fairly unavoidable that Cygnus would likely end up waking him up, too. "What time is it?" They had little boxes that told the time, now, if he remembered right.

Sepheres Essair

Age
2,106
Gender
Male
Race
Vampire
Ethnicity
Egyptian-Roman
Play By
Eric Saade
The star in - okay. Sepheres didn't try and grasp that too clearly, just leaving it alone. It probably didn't matter if he entirely understood anyway, he just needed to keep track of enough to make sure that if it was important he retained it in the morning. ... He still wondered if this was some sort of elaborate dream but maybe... it didn't matter, either way. No, it really didn't because either this was real, or it was one of the most vivid dreams he'd ever had - and maybe in the end he should just enjoy what he had while he had it.

Mm. Still, Sepheres wished that was something they could have had together. He didn't say that though - there was no point. Dream or reality, this wouldn't last, and they couldn't do it now - it was too late for regrets and wishes. Cygnus had forgotten and Sepheres had never thought to ask.

Right, before morning. Sepheres felt a slight pang - he didn't want this to end. He didn't want to wake up alone. He knew he would, knew he'd have to but that didn't change much of anything. Ah, he didn't say that though. Mm. "Hang on." Sepheres murmured reaching around the nightstand for a moment until he found his phone and switched the screen on long enough to see the time.

And promptly turned it back off with a bit of a grimace because no matter how dim his screen was set to be, it was still way too bright after being asleep and still in the dark. "Almost one am." Answering the original question, yes. "I'm sure Icarus will be glad to see you." Probably just as confused as Sepheres but ah, that wasn't shocking.

Cygnus Essair

Age
2,109
Gender
Male
Race
Vampire
Ethnicity
Roman
Play By
Lucky Blue Smith
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live.
Oh, jeez those were bright when you were adjusted to darkness. That made logical sense, but see, Cygnus rarely ever concerned himself with logical sense. He tended to leave those to Icarus and Kassander. It was much easier that way, they were better at logic than he was. So was Sepheres, for that matter. Cygnus just kind of shrugged, a bit, happily going back to snuggling.

"Well, I can stay a few more hours. If you wanna go back to sleep, that's okay." There was a lot to talk about, ostensibly. On the other hand, the things they had to talk about maybe couldn't be stuffed into a single night, either. There were a lot of things Cygnus wanted to say, but, at the same time, he wasn't sure half of it even really mattered, in the end. He just wanted to make sure Sepheres knew that he loved him, and... no, that was the important part. He kind of watched, through Kass; he was doing about as well as Cygnus imagined.

He knew about the guy Kassi ended up snarling into a corner away from Sepheres that one time. Yep, he knew. Some of the snarl might've been him, who knew? But he didn't think he'd be mentioning that to Sepheres, either.

"I'll be back someday," he said. "It won't be forever." Not yet, anyway. When the whatever it was stopped trying to get the star in his brother's heart, he did have to wonder what happened, then. He didn't voice it. And with any luck, maybe Sepheres wouldn't think about it. Cygnus didn't even know how he was here. He just knew, it wasn't quite time for him to go, just yet. Not yet. He wanted to come home, really come home, but he also knew that may never happen. So, he tried not to think about it.

He wondered if that'd ever start working.

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