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Say It For Me

Aug 5, 2018
65 Views 22 Replies
Arceon @ Nov 11, 2018, 12:10 AM

Julian Tiao
No title
Daeva
28 Posts 15 Years Male Daeva Han Chinese Written by Arceon
I can't change, even if I tried, even if I wanted to.
Nov 11, 2018, 12:25 AM / 605 Words
He felt all that, too.

Of course he did. Some part of him wanted to stop talking, amid that long, seemingly unending ramble, but, it was important. Because if he didn't say it, and Adrian didn't hear it, well, anyone could say they were Jesse. Without the memories he had left, he was just some random kid. He couldn't ask him to believe him, and then not prove it, or at least try to. That was just silly, really.

Jesse shook his head; yeah, it was a lot to process, and he didn't expect Adrian to do it in a few seconds. He'd spent maybe a few months thinking he was dead, and, he was, he just, wasn't gone. Despite it seeming like he didn't think about it, he had. He still wondered, if he'd done the right thing, if it wouldn't have been better, to just stay with the Light like he was supposed to, but, in some things, Jesse was a little goody two-shoes. In other things, he was quite the rebel. Odd, how that turned out, but it was and was not surprising, at least to him, and probably anyone that really knew him. All Asians were repressed rebels, anyway. Nothing like your parents expecting you to be a doctor or a lawyer your entire life.

It didn't really make him feel better. But he knew, it wasn't like he'd been the one that decided Adrian should tell his parents. He understood, though, that sometimes you got tired of hiding and lying and pretending, he got that. Maybe in some sense, he'd have had to tell them, but, maybe there'd never be a part of Jesse that didn't wonder if he'd set off a chain reaction. If he'd just, not said anything, would Adrian have? Would things have turned out this way? Maybe. Maybe not. There wasn't any point in maybe, might've, could've, what if, but sometimes, he couldn't help wondering. He just frowned, slightly, but he didn't say anything.

"Oh," they weren't in the car. "... good thing I didn't go home." That probably wouldn't have ended very well. "Vivian's birthday party, then... I came here, first. I... somewhere back there," he gestured vaguely behind him, "are wings, I'm sure, but I don't know how to make them... happen. I can't fly, either. But, I think I figured out the focus tug. I'm pretty sure I'm basically your guardian angel, now." Yeah, pretty sure.

A moment of debate, and he reached over across the table, gently taking the hand Adrian almost gave him. "I know I won't really understand," he said. "I was lucky, and I know it, in a lot of ways. But, even if all I can do is hold your hand through it, I still want to be here when you need someone. Please, don't shut me out anymore. I can't just pick and choose what I want. That's not how this works, and I already decided if I was gonna be here, I was gonna be here, through whatever it is. I don't like seeing you hurting, but, Adrian, I don't like watching you try not to drown on your own even more."

Adrian White
No title
Witch
47 Posts 15 Years Male Witch Caucasion & African American Written by Lenara
Nov 11, 2018, 12:25 AM / 482 Words
"Ah... probably a good thing yes." Because even if Julian had gone home and they had been home that probably wouldn't have been... a stellar idea. Ah, but his parents were very giving and maybe if he'd spun the right story it could have worked. But complete strangers would probably have just been disturbed by this kid wandering up to their house and claiming he lived there. Adrian was going to be very glad that hadn't happened. "I think that was what you said in the messages, that you were going to her birthday." Yeah, that sounded right.

It'd been some time since he could bear to open that particular message thread, go figure.

"...That's..." Hm. "I mean in a way you already were, I think. So this just makes it official." Was that a silly thing to say? Maybe, but it also felt right in a way, because Jesse always had been the center point that made him remember that living was a good idea and that staying tucked in his corner wasn't going to make things better. Jesse had been a bright point in his life for a long time, this just... made it official he supposed. It was strange to think though, that he of all people ended up with something like that. But... if anyone he knew was going to qualify for their wings, it would be Jesse.

Funny how that worked out.

"As for the wings, I'm sure Professor Adair can help." If any one could it would be another Daeva, right? It made sense to him. Sure, Professor Adair taught necromancy for the most part, but Adrian was pretty sure he could make an exception for something like this. He figured it was probably a good idea, really, to learn how to control the Daeva parts because eventually he might accidentally open them or something like that and that could be... a bit of a problem in the hallways, for example.

Adrian laced his fingers through Julian's. Somehow it felt right even though none of this really was. He was quiet for a moment before nodded just slightly. "I'll.. try." It was hard to promise not to. There were a lot of things he'd prefer to forget about over talking about them. But he'd try to remember that Julian wanted him to, anyway. "It just gets to the point where it just feels like whining, and it doesn't really serve any purpose so I just... leave it where it is." Maybe he was looking at it wrong. "But I'll try to remember that you don't want me to do that."

Julian Tiao
No title
Daeva
28 Posts 15 Years Male Daeva Han Chinese Written by Arceon
I can't change, even if I tried, even if I wanted to.
Nov 11, 2018, 12:25 AM / 460 Words
Ah - oh. He couldn't really help the turning pink, slightly, and sort of shrinking onto the table. Maybe it was just 'making it official,' as Adrian put it, but sometimes, it was kind of embarrassing, to get hit upside the head with how much they'd both ended up meaning to the other. Maybe someday, they'd drift apart. Nothing ever really lasted forever, of course, everything that had a beginning had an end, and they both knew that. It wasn't like it'd change what Jesse had decided already, because he loved him enough to want to be here now, and later didn't really make a difference in that. And maybe he'd be oddly surprised, and end up spending the rest of - er... Adrian's life, with him. That was a nice thought.

He hoped, if nothing else, they always stayed friends.

"Probably. Uh. I think the Light said I should bother him, anyway," he answered. Probably because he'd need to figure out how to daeva. It wasn't like Jesse had learned that part, while he was gone, but honestly, he didn't mind so much. These were things that'd still be there, later. Learning to use the extra parts of his body, though, that might rank kind of high on the important list. And what the heck was that ringing in the back of his head? Hmm.

He shook his head a bit. "It's not whining, Adrian. Your feelings are valid. You are valid." Yes, they were, and yes, he was. Maybe some might think it was whining, but, if they did, well, they didn't really care about him very much, did they? It was probably a good thing, that Jesse hadn't really lived through the same things Adrian had. He had a better idea of how to deal with certain things that Adrian did, had a better grasp on how other things were supposed to be. He had a healthy, decent life, and was in a much better position to help Adrian figure out his life. ... plus, it wasn't like Jesse had any major traumatic stuff in his past to deal with, too.

... well, maybe the car accident counted, but he couldn't remember it, anyway.

"Now, this is probably the least weird thing I've said today," he started, "but, do you got a dollar fifty I can bum? Tea, or something, it's not like they've got water fountains up in heaven. It's like, come on, this is heaven, where are the chocolate milk fountains?" Jeez.

Adrian White
No title
Witch
47 Posts 15 Years Male Witch Caucasion & African American Written by Lenara
Nov 11, 2018, 12:25 AM / 302 Words
Well that sort of made sense, if Jesse had come back too early, he would need someone to teach him the things about being a Daeva. If the light had resigned itself to him doing this, it sort of made sense that it would give him a path that would be at least less dangerous than trying to do it totally by himself. Some things, like flying, should not be self-taught, he suspected. Even if Daevas were more durable than humans, they could still be hurt.

"Valid they may be, it's still whining when you complain at someone who has nothing to do with the situation." And it wasn't like anyone in the situation would listen to his feelings on it. So... on the other hand, it didn't help that he'd essentially been raised being told that any  negative statement was either whining or talking back or both, and neither one were acceptable. And logically, Adrian knew that wasn't fair. That didn't make it easier to shake off.

"I'll try and remember." He reaffirmed quietly. Adrian could make no promises, but he'd try, for Jesse. There were a lot of things Adrian would do for Jesse.

Adrian let out a short laugh. "We can definitely get you something to drink, yeah." Adrian pulled out his wallet and tugged out a five. Well, that would work. Offering that to Jesse / Julian. "Can get a snack too." Which you know, wasn't much, but would probably hold him over until they went to lunch at least. "Lame that there were no fountains at all." Chocolate milk fountains would be messy, but very cool.

Julian Tiao
No title
Daeva
28 Posts 15 Years Male Daeva Han Chinese Written by Arceon
I can't change, even if I tried, even if I wanted to.
Nov 11, 2018, 12:26 AM / 370 Words
Julian, of course, head thunked onto the table. "That's not really how this works," he said. "... like, it's called venting? Everyone needs to do that sometimes, you know, it's kind of like leaving a sandwich in a bag for too long, right, it gets gross? Kind of the same principle, you leave bad feelings in you too long and they get gross, too, and probably start hurting more than they should. Also, sometimes talking about it helps you make sense of it in your head, like, instead of going in circles with yourself, at least you have someone else that can be a sounding board and help you look at it from another angle. Right? ... besides, I love you, you know, but your life actually kind of tanks. And maybe other people might have it worse, but you've still got it pretty bad. ... and one person's bad being worse than your bad doesn't invalidate your bad. ... what am I even saying right now, I hope that made sense." He'd just, he'd hope that made sense. Yeah.

"Oh gosh, you know what I missed, strawberries," Julian said, taking the offered five, not that he thought - well, five dollars should get him a whole box of strawberries, but what would he do with it? Yeah... maybe he'd see if he could find dried ones. "I'll pay you back, promise. Heaven was pretty simple, actually. Just the singing chimes, and the talking brightness. ... the Light, sorry. The Light up there was female but the one talking in my head is male, I don't know how that works, or... how I know they're both the Light. Hmm. Maybe it's a daeva thing." He wouldn't really know, given he didn't stay up there long enough to learn.

"I should probably pester one of the teachers about getting uh, like a dorm, and stuff, later," he mentioned. "Probably Mr. Adair, just because I'll be bothering him anyway. ... d'you got a roommate yet?" If he was lucky, maybe not.

Adrian White
No title
Witch
47 Posts 15 Years Male Witch Caucasion & African American Written by Lenara
Nov 11, 2018, 12:26 AM / 397 Words
... Wasn't it? But Jesse was saying no, so apparently he didn't think it DID work that way. Adrian was just a little confused by the idea, honestly. The whole idea of him wanting to listen to Adrian complain about silly things was... well strange, to say the least. Adrian tried to remember that this was Jesse and Jesse had always cared what he thought and how he felt - but it was still strange in the long run. Who actually wanted to listen to someone being a downer? ... On the other hand, if he stepped back a bit and tried to put himself in Jesse's place, it made a little more sense.

He nodded. "Right, that makes sense." At least sort of. He'd, yeah he went with it. He could at least understand where Julian was going with the metaphor there. He did, almost, argue about how his life wasn't that bad but maybe... there was no point in it. If he'd seen enough to decide that for himself, even if Adrian didn't necessarily agree entirely, he didn't think he was going to be able to convince him otherwise.

Adrian just smiled a hair. "No rush on that, you know I don't mind." Nah, not at all. And if he never saw that five back, it wasn't going to make or break anything. Julian had given him a lot that was worth way more than money, let's be real. But Jesse was like that, so he wasn't going to try and tell him not to bother paying it back.

"Well if the light is supposed to be god I would assume it doesn't really... you know have a gender." Yeah, probably not realistically. "So maybe it doesn't mean much that they sound different." Or maybe it did, hard to say. Adrian certainly didn't know, it wasn't like he could hear it.

"Ahh... maybe." Yeah. Certainly Professor Adair could do it. "Not yet." Nope. "At least, they haven't moved in yet." So there was that.  But he didn't know who it was, yet, if he did have one assigned.

Julian Tiao
No title
Daeva
28 Posts 15 Years Male Daeva Han Chinese Written by Arceon
I can't change, even if I tried, even if I wanted to.
Nov 11, 2018, 12:26 AM / 432 Words
Good, good, that made sense somewhere in there. Jesse never hadn't been much of a rambler (honestly, the rambling thing, it was the most normal thing he'd done since he'd gotten back, and if anything, maybe it was a little reassuring that he was still the same Jesse he'd been before), but, you know, this was about Adrian, not him. Or, well, he figured it'd be, but, more accurately, it was probably more about them both than one or the other.

"I know," he answered, and he did, being fair. "... not like I've got a job, anymore, so... may take a while, if it's any consolation." Truthfully, maybe he'd forget, at some point or another. Five dollars, you know, it wasn't a significant amount, and really, he was more likely to forget it at some point.

"Not sure," Jesse said, shrugging. "I didn't exactly, you know, stay and have a notable discussion. ... actually I kind of panicked, I think." Kind of, he said, like how water was kind of wet and the sun was kind of hot. He kept using that phrase. He didn't think it meant what he kept using it as. "But, I'll figure it out. Maybe Mr. Adair knows." Maybe.

Oh, good. "Well, maybe I'll... see if I can magically end up your roommate. Though, you could use more friends, anyway, maybe I shouldn't. Roommates are hard to ignore." Then again, it was always something of a crap-shoot, if he'd get a decent one or not. By the way, the male-Light voice said, I'd stay very, very far away from other daevas. Except Cade, Cade's fine. Unconsciously, Jesse frowned, glancing to the side a bit. That was an odd warning.
Any... particular reason why...?
Well, if you'd stayed up there, you'd know,
the voice answered. As it is, maybe you should ask Cade.
Jesse had the sense to look a hair chastised.

"... I think the Light's upset at me, a bit." Whatever gave him that idea. "Well, anyway, the vending machines aren't coming up here," and if they were, he might have slightly more pressing concerns than the Light being upset at him. He should put the books back, first, so he got up and went to do that.

Adrian White
No title
Witch
47 Posts 15 Years Male Witch Caucasion & African American Written by Lenara
Nov 11, 2018, 12:27 AM / 400 Words
Ah, that was true. Julian wouldn't have a job if he'd just gotten here. That was something that was going to take a while to get around. Adrian was sure he could eventually get another job if that's what he wanted to do, but it did take time, because not everywhere liked to be flexible enough for someone with classes.

"Fair." It was, yeah. If he'd not stayed and talked it made sense that maybe he didn't really know. On the other hand, since he hadn't stayed, Adrian wasn't sure it mattered in the end - he wasn't there dealing with the Light or... whatever it was. He was here, as strange as that was given he'd... you know, died. Adrian had no idea how to get his head around that entirely it wasn't every day someone you thought was dead came back.

But Julian knew too much for it to be some sort of elaborate trick so he wasn't... sure how to handle it exactly. Maybe this was about all he could do - taking it in stride as he could and moving forward. It wasn't like there were a lot of other options presenting themselves here.

A short laugh. "That'd be pretty nice." It would be - at least then there wouldn't be any question of if he would get along well with his roommate or not. A shrug after the rest of it though. "Up to you." Something like that. Well, Julian and Professor Adair, technically. Still. He did frown a bit though, because Adrian saw the slight shift in Julian's expression. He didn't ask though.

"Well... I mean you did leave before it was ready for you to." Shrug. So maybe it was? Adrian didn't really know what the ending implications of that might be, he hoped it didn't turn out to be a bad thing. "Yeah, probably not." With a short laugh. No vending machines in the library, for good reason.

Anyway, while Julian was putting away books, Adrian put away his drawing things and moved towards the entrance to the library. ... Maybe he'd get something down there too, come to think of it.